What does stimming feel like?

This one is hard to explain for three reasons:

1. The only way to explain how you feel is generally to compare it to another, similar feeling, but sometimes a stim is a very specific feeling that is hard to describe, especially if you are autistic and struggle to identify and describe feelings.

2. Comparing a one feeling to another may not work if non-autistic people experience it differently (for example, I cannot compare the feeling of stimming to the feeling you get when you get a new special interest because it may not be relatable for non-autistics as I don’t know if they feel the same thing as me).

3. Everyone experiences stimming differently so I can only speak for my own experiences.
   

Also, many stims feel different to one another.

It’s easier to start with what it feels like to NOT stim, IE suppress a stim. It feels like energy is bubbling up under your skin, and it’s intensely uncomfortable. You cannot focus on anything else, because the uncomfortable feeling takes all your attention (for example, if you had a leg cramp you wouldn’t be able to focus on an exam because all your attention would be taken by the discomfort), and because all of your energy is being taken up suppressing the stim (for example if I asked someone to write an essay whilst simultaneously asking them to pat their head and rub their stomach, and also without using the letter e, they would probably struggle because they have no attention or energy left to spare).

Not stimming when in sensory overload is painful, because all of your attention is left to focus on the sensory overload.

Some people harm themselves whilst stimming. When I have done this (for example hitting my arms or legs), the only reason has been sensory or emotional overload. Imagine you are having surgery without anaesthetic (I’ve never been through this so I don’t know if it’s similar but it’s the best way I can explain this). You may bite your tongue or clench your fists to give you something to focus on other than the pain from surgery. This pain is focused and less ‘painful’ than the surgery, and focusing on it allows the pain from surgery to decrease because your attention is elsewhere. This is (in my experience) why stimming turns harmful. You’re in so much pain from sensory overload that the only way to cope is to have something else to focus on away from the pain (because sensory overload is painful!). If someone was pulling at their hair during childbirth or clenching their fists when having stitches, it is understood by others, but not when someone is harming themselves during a metldown/overload.

Of course, harmful stimming is bad for you, and it’s always better to remove someone from a situation before they reach this point or encourage a non-harmful stim instead. But this is why I personally engage in this sort of stimming behaviour. Of course other people’s reasons may be different.

But onto non-harmful stimming.

Flicking fingers can give a similar feeling to clicking a pen. Flapping my hands gives a jolt of calmness or happiness depending upon context. Verbal stimming can give a similar joy to singing. More physical stims might release endorphins (similar to when you exercise).

If we use food as a metaphor for stimming, sometimes stimming feels awesome (like when you have a delicious meal). Sometimes stimming reduces anxiety (like food reduces hunger). Suppressing stims can cause discomfort (like not eating for an extended period).

I’m not sure how clear all this was as I ended up going on a couple of tangents there, but I hope it helps someone.