It is once again Autism Acceptance/Awareness Day. Autistic people and their family are posting deep, meaningful, thought provoking posts online. Trying to convince professionals and the general public to listen and learn, to break through the stigma and lack of knowledge.

I, on the other hand, am currently preparing for my second year exams. I could write about lockdown, about past experiences, about life in general. But that requires emotional energy I don’t really have right now. So instead I’m going to go on a little ramble about what I want to do When I Grow Up.

I’m currently working towards a degree in psychology. I know I want to do academia as a career, and want to get into autism research specifically. I already started looking at Master’s programs, and have found one I love which is focused upon autism and emphasises the lived experiences of autistic people. I have a notebook in which I keep all of my research ideas, and I sometimes get so, so impatient to just get started.

I can’t wait until my final year, when (hopefully) COVID-19 will be in the past. I can’t wait to attend in person lectures again, and debate the lecturer and just LEARN. Online learning just isn’t the same, even though my lecturers work hard to make it good. It’s not the same as sitting next to friends in class, chatting during breaks in the lecture. It’s not as fun online, it’s harder to focus, it’s harder to learn and keep up with the work. It’s still much better than A levels though!

I want to research therapies that will actually help autistic people. I want to work on participatory research, and include non-speaking people in the conversation. I want to research AAC, and work with professionals to give people better access to communication. I want to research the effects of presuming competence. I want to officially document parent experiences with services, how they felt, what they found difficult. Because a lot of people don’t listen to people until their words are published. I want to work on programs which teach autism acceptance to non-autistic kids so the next generation of autistic children grow up feeling accepted for who they are. I want to look into PTSD and trauma in autistic people, a really important area which hasn’t got much attention until recently. I want to look into autistic burnout and how we can reduce or prevent it. I want to research the double empathy problem, the idea that communication is a two way street, and that non-autistic people may struggle to read and understand autistic people as much as we may struggle to read them. I want to look into the double empathy problem in autistic people who are non-speaking or have higher support needs. I want to work with researchers whose work I have read and admired.

There are so many things I want to do, and I can’t wait to start. For now though, I need to revise and prepare for my exams in May.